Thirties Chronicles

Pause

2011-10-29T22:31:00.002-04:00

Taking a break from this blog- needed a fresh start for a new chapter in my life.... follow me https://coreaninprogress.wordpress.com/

Side tracked...

2011-04-26T21:49:00.002-04:00

How easily we get side tracked in life. I can't believe next week will be May already. I also can't believe I haven't written a blog post since January. We are nearing the half point in the year and I am no where near where I should be. Where did the time go? I had big plans that should be half way to fruition. Life is what happened. Unexpected people, places, events. Things pull you off course and you forget to get back on. Sometimes it seems we get pulled off the path in order to gain the weapons we will need for the rest of the journey. Well, I'm suited up and ready to go. Brand new iMac and all. My new blog is still in the works thanks to great advice from great people in my life who don't even know they gave it. Love you all. For those on you on the same path I am, and you know who you are, let's get it.

New beginnings

2011-01-10T21:53:00.003-05:00

So I know it's been a minute. And how things can change in just a few months. My 33rd birthday was this past Friday and I had a ball partying with my friends all weekend. It's Monday and we are snowed in (yes in Atlanta.) Guess I needed some time with nothing to do but think. I'm at the age where you really start to examine your life. I have had several conversations with friends who are realizing they are not where they thought they should be in life but also realize they are exactly where they are supposed to be. Where do we go from here? That is up to us. This will be a big year. I have a new blog coming soon that will take you on the journey with me. I've been gone too long. I'm back in business. This year my life will be an open book, so if you are a part of my life, you have officially been warned. Happy New Year. Cheers.

Blinders

2010-10-24T21:46:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I look around and almost lose hope. It seems so many of us are operating with full blinders on. Why are we so afraid to see the truth? Why are we so inclined to lie to ourselves about our reality. It is because we would then be forced to actually do something about it? Stand up to it? Be the ones who initiate change? You must first be aware of your true reality before you can change it. In the past week, I have been instilled with new hope. I am seeing our young people rise up and start to tackle the things that live beyond the blinders. Seeing this is beautiful. I see where our world is headed and we will need this generation to be fearless and full of hope. It's the only way true change will ever transpire.

The Good Life

2010-10-19T21:27:00.002-04:00

The past 2 weeks have been crazy. My beliefs have been challenged. My faith has been tested along with my patience. I've had some new amazing people enter my life and a few leave (or at least take a time out.) I've been shocked by people close to me I didn't think could shock me. I've come to terms with things I have been struggling with. But the result is a clearer vision of my future and purpose, even more appreciation for the special people in my life and greater love for myself. I am truly blessed and full of gratitude for the life I live. All of it, the good and the bad, is what makes it so beautiful.

Peace, be still.

2010-10-13T20:27:00.002-04:00

I've read a lot of books over the last year. Books on the law of attraction and the power of thought. Books on belief and believing. Books on setting goals, planning and taking control of your own life. As you know, I've been in a growing stage. Through all the books, reflection, prayers and meditation I have learned a valuable lesson - to be still. I've spent so much of my life going all of the time. Working multiple jobs, juggling multiple responsibilities, missing sleep. I admit that I'm still always on go, but I've learned to take moments each day, be still and listen to what life is telling me. It's amazing what opens up to you when you learn to be still. In stillness, God speaks.

Simple

2010-10-07T21:49:00.003-04:00

Today's post will be short and sweet and will sum up my life at the moment : Grateful.

GODSends

2010-10-05T21:37:00.004-04:00

Had a great time talking to someone special today that I haven't talked to in a long time. There are some people that come into our life clueless of the impact they make on you. I would call them GODsends. He sends you who you need when you need them even if you don't realize it until they have done their job and are gone. These are the people in your life you should be eternally grateful for. The ones who guide your lessons, comfort you in the sad times, help to heal your heart and hurt your feelings when you really need them hurt to grow. Not everyone is meant to be there for a lifetime....but then again you never know. You still have your whole life ahead of you and true friends always come back around.

Super Powers

2010-09-27T20:55:00.002-04:00

On a daily basis I hear of incredible new super powers created in the mind of the most amazing boy I know. (I swear I am not biased just because I made him myself.) It's amazing the detail he puts into the characters he creates in his on-going action adventure. This is a game he has been playing for almost two years. And yes as he gets older it evolves and he never forgets a detail. It's quite mind blowing. As I was listening to my daily re-cap of this adventure, I began thinking about super powers. We all have super powers. Most of us just waste them, never tapping into them. We all have special gifts that make us who we are. So why don't we use them? We read about the super powers of those who have lived before us, but think for some reason we are not capable of these amazing things. Is it simply that we have lost our imagination? The capability of manifesting these powers with our thoughts? At what point in life do we lose this brilliant imagination? And how can we get it back? I pray that my son never loses his.

Love Lessons

2010-09-26T19:48:00.003-04:00

I can't believe it's almost October. This year has flew by. I have been reflecting on this year as I set some pretty big goals and sort of ended up on a different path. I want to make sure I'm not missing any lessons meant for me. If I had to give this year a title so far, it would be the year of "love lessons." If you have known me for a long time or paid any attention to my blog, you have an idea of my history with relationships. You would think I would have learned some things a long time ago, but some lessons you keep repeating because you don't like the truth in them. I've learned no matter how much you don't like the truth, it is a blessing and will set you free. I think I have learned the most lessons about love this year of my life than all of the other years combined. The biggest lesson I'm still learning is how to really be in love with me. For a long time, I had no clue. I loved others more than I loved myself and it caused me a lot of heartache and pain. It took me a long time to realize I had to love myself first. If I didn't know how to do that right, how I could never really love anyone else? And how could anyone else ever really love me? I've learned what love doesn't look like. I lied to myself about that one for a very long time. Love doesn't hurt. I've learned that love can come unexpectedly and sometimes instantly. I've learned that love doesn't mean you have to be with someone and you can love from afar. I've learned a lot about reasons, seasons and lifetimes. I've learned the heart is very resilient and is always capable of loving again no matter how broken you may think it is. Most or all, I've learned that if you live each day with love and put love into everything you do, love will always come back to you. Spread luv.

FYI...

2010-09-25T00:34:00.003-04:00

Life is wonderful right now and I am so grateful for this moment I am in. My motivation is at an all time high - which means there will be some people who probably get upset with me. I am completely focused so if you don't hear from me, don't take it personal. It's not that I love you any less, it's that I have to give 100% to what I know I need to do. It's crazy how when you take the time to really do you and follow your dreams, the people who are too afraid to do that for themselves are the ones who will have the biggest problems with it. Misery loves company, but I don't know that b*tch.

It's on...

2010-09-22T21:53:00.003-04:00

So I'm sort of in a battle against my self. Well maybe not a battle but a challenge. I reached that moment that you wait for but think it will never come. That "click" or "ah ha" or "get it" moment. When all the crap that you go through in life suddenly reveals it's purpose. Yes, that is the moment I am currently in. Gratitude swag in full effect right now. I won't share what it is that revealed itself to me...at least not yet. But trust me, it will reveal itself to the world soon enough. So, I will boldly say I have had a vision of my true purpose. Now, my challenge is to step out fully on faith and go all in on it. Guess my new tattoo had perfect timing.

Busy Bee...

2010-09-20T22:24:00.002-04:00

Pause....ok that's about the only break I have been able to take in over a week. My to do list runs into next year. But busy is much better than bored. Got some big things on that list. Can't wait. God is good.

Set-Back

2010-09-14T22:43:00.002-04:00

The enemy really goes all out when you are close to your breakthrough. So I've been sick for like a week. The kind where you have a lot to do but can't really function. But you still try to function anyway and in turn you just stay sick because you are not resting. Break the cycle. Anyway, this temporary set back from my new work out routine and projects at home has actually been a blessing in disguise. It has given me time to think. Like really think. Almost meditation, but not quite. Couldn't clear my mind of the pending projects at work and home completely. But still pretty close to meditation. Close enough to have some pretty awesome revelations. This is the part where I laugh in the enemy's face. Ha Ha Ha. This year is almost coming to a close. I got some big things to do before it does. Stay tuned....

Progress

2010-09-09T21:40:00.003-04:00

So I started a new exercise routine and I'm seeing progress already. Only get one body, better take care of it right? I've also started a new sleeping routine and eating routine. Feeling better each day. Change is good. Mix that with the people in my life that make me smile on a daily basis and life is beautiful. If I had to describe myself in two words right now they would be: Blessed and Grateful.

Angel

2010-09-07T21:36:00.000-04:00

Someone special reminded me of the path I am supposed to be on...how easily we can get distracted and led off into the bushes. Thank God for the Angels he places in your life. Whether they realize they are or not.

Life is good

2010-08-31T21:29:00.002-04:00

I am truly blessed. I am grateful for my life. I wouldn't change any of the the experiences that have gotten me to this place. Good or bad they were all beautiful. It took me a minute to get to this place, but it's a wonderful place to be. I have wonderful people in my life that make me smile everyday. I learned how to let go of all the bs, including the people associated with it. I live each moment like it is the only one there is, because I know that each one counts. I can't express my gratitude enough. I look forward to giving back and helping others on their journey. After all, isn't that what this life is all about?

Where does the time go?

2010-08-24T21:15:00.002-04:00

Time seems to be speeding up. Either that or I have been so busy lately it just flys by at a quicker pace. I have to say it's a good busy though. The type of busy where you just can't fit everything you want to do in because you are already do so many things you want to do. Plus, a little work. That is the way it should be. I finally learned how to live my life for me and it is the best feeling ever. I know that when my service here is done, I will be able to say that I lived fully. Each day, each moment. Life is beautiful. God is good.

Leeches

2010-08-14T21:28:00.002-04:00

It's crazy that when you finally get to a point in life that you focus on your own happiness and everything is going well, the leeches come out in droves. Happiness leeches. They want to suck you into their misery. Can't stand you found a way out of it and they haven't. All I can do it pray for them and keep it moving.

:)

2010-08-10T21:56:00.001-04:00

Life is good.

That is all for today. Spreadluv.

Weekend fun

2010-08-08T20:08:00.004-04:00

What a weekend! Had fun hanging out with good friends and some new ones. Partied till the sun came up for my girl birthday. Can't remember the last time we did that. It's funny how things seem to happen out of pure coincidence - but if you really think about it - you planted those seeds. Life is crazy like that. Crazy Beautiful if you let it be. God is good all the time.

New Things

2010-08-04T21:53:00.002-04:00

I'm really enjoying my life Right. I'm extremely busy as usual but my schedule now consists of a variety of things I do just for me. Things I do just to make me happy. I never made time for these things before. It has changed my life. I'm loving my writing class. Next up will be some sort of art class. I'm thinking painting, but maybe a drawing class. God gives you gifts for a reason. I can't let them sit dormant any longer. It's like waking up on Christmas morning as a kid and sitting next to your gifts with out touching them. What's the point? These are the things that nourish my soul. I've also recently started Taekwondo. I love the challenge. Life is good right now. God is good all the time.

Old Friends

2010-08-03T20:43:00.003-04:00

I ran into my oldest, dearest friend today. I almost didn't recognize her. I wasn't expecting to see her at all. When I did see her, I realized it's been a long, long time. She looked beautiful. I don't ever remember seeing her that happy. I was grateful. I embraced her and then we sat in silence for awhile. It was as if all of that time hadn't past. I let other people come into my life and put our relationship on the back burner. I lost site of what was important and who should be a priority in my life. But I learned from it all and realize I am a much better person for making those mistakes. I know now our relationship will be stronger than ever and we will never lose each other again. I ran into my oldest, dearest friend today. It happened when I took a real look in the mirror. She's been waiting there all along.

One of those days...

2010-07-27T22:28:00.001-04:00

Today was hectic, long and at times annoying. I am grateful for every minute of it. I am truly blessed. God is good all the time.

Construction

2010-07-25T23:22:00.002-04:00

It's funny how life happens. My closest friends are all going through some sort of re-construction phase in their lives. Me included. All for different reasons, but all very life changing experiences. It's not due to environment, because we are all spread out across the country. So maybe it's the age thing. Maybe this is what really happens in your 30s when you look back at your 20s and realize you are not the person you envisioned you would be. But who ever said that person you saw when you were 20 was really the person you were supposed to be at 30? What did you really know about yourself at 20? Exactly. So you made dumb choices and wonder where the time went. We all do. Some of us are still making the SAME dumb choices. That is how you get stuck. Learn from it and you will break the pattern. Anyway, my inner re-construction has caused me to re-construct the external space around me. Not only clearing more space to make room for those blessing waiting for me, but creating brand new spaces. New spaces for new phases in my life. Only this time, I know exactly who I am supposed to be right now. What do I see at 40? I think I will let that be a surprise. Can't wait to see though.

Do you think you know me?

2010-07-21T21:21:00.005-04:00

Now that my children are involved in various activities, I seem to get the exact same question by the established circle of "Moms" followed by the exact same looks. Particularly, when my teenage daughter randomly decides to support her brother's current activity. One of the "Moms" finally gets the nerve to ask in some I'm trying not to be obvious way "Is that your daughter?" When they get the answer they already knew, it is followed by "I thought she was your sister." Then, "You must have been really young." Immediately, their eyes go straight to my left hand. No, I'm not married. And never have been. I watch their imagination take flight, so I thought it might be useful to re-introduce myself. I am not just the "young" single mom. I am the girl that lived in a trailer park and got pregnant in high school. I am the one that had the crazy, abusive boyfriend. I had the second child with baby daddy #2. Neither bd's are in our lives. No father in my life, but he didn't leave us. He died. Guess you could say he left as he died from not taking care of his health, but not the stereotypical black men don't take care of their kids leaving. He was educated. A pharmacist. A veteran. Also, a cheater. But that's another story. I guess karma is a bitch. Anyway back to me. I spent a lot of time running the streets. I know too much about guns and drugs. I have four tattoos. At one point, even had my eyebrow pierced. I could go on. Confirm all of their assumptions. But that is just a small part of my story. I also have three college degrees. I am an adjunct professor and love to teach. I work at an advertising agency in a director level position. I recycle. I eat mostly organic foods. My children are both straight A students, athletes and artists. They don't talk back, throw fits or act ungrateful. We take vacations to new places every year and I make sure they learn something while we are there. You can find us at a bookstore at least once a week. We read several books a month. I bought a house for my mother. I could go on here too, but you get the point. We are so quick to judge, to assume. As the old saying goes, you should never judge a book by its cover. You don't know what people have been through or what they have accomplished until you get to know them. Take the time to find out. In most cases, you will be surprised.

Open book

2010-07-19T22:40:00.004-04:00

I got some new ink this past weekend. My own visual interpretation of 2 Corinthians 5:7. It is the foundation of how I am trying to live my life. I really love it. Shot out to Joe Vegas at 13 Roses in East Atlanta. I will be back for more. I also recently started a new writing class. I am not happy with myself if I am not taking a class or teaching one. So right now I'm in my happy place. My 30s are not at all what I expected them to be. If you have been following me, you have had glimpses of the ups and downs. I've shared parts of my growth. I realize that I haven't been documenting all that I should. I haven't been sharing all of my "chronicles." I know there are lessons in my omissions and I'm sure there are many of you who can relate. So I will do a better job sharing those lessons. In some cases, I may change the names or locations to protect the innocent. :) Take this as a warning: If you are in my life, you may end up on my blog. I'm learning a lot about love lately. Mostly that what I thought was love in the past wasn't. Or maybe it was but the people involved, myself included, just didn't know how to express it right. Or maybe we knew but were too scared or too selfish to. All in all, I am in a great place in my life. There will always be challenges. It's how we overcome those challenges that makes us who we are. So moving forward, my book is open, not just cracked. Feel free to follow as I stumbled through the scenes, pages and chapters.

Change

2010-07-18T21:59:00.002-04:00

There are times in life when you have to make changes. Some are planned, some are forced. Sometimes life puts you in a place where you need to re-evaluate everything you thought you knew and discover what really is. Sometimes you realize you only saw what you wanted to see or heard what you wanted to hear. All the while ignoring what you really felt. That knowing deep down inside that we tend to ignore if it some way interferes with what we think we want at that moment. It's when we really learn how to tune into this knowing, sometimes called intuition, we begin to see that God has always been there to guide us. We just have to make the choice to follow Him. It's that whole free will thing and making our own decisions that sometimes messes us up. Until the point in life where you are forced to make a change. If you really pay attention to that moment and the lesson in it, you will be grateful for it.

Turning the other cheek....

2010-07-08T20:23:00.003-04:00

Is not an easy thing to do. We expect that people will treat us with the same respect we treat them. We expect that people we are there for be there for us. We expect the people we love to love us back. The problem is most of the time people don't live up to your expectations. So we get mad, feel hurt, want to punish them for not being who or what we want them to be. But if you really think about it, they probably showed you who they really were from the very start. But you brushed it off, thought they would change. Made excuses for it. We all do it. Until one day we learn the lesson that the only person you can set expectations for is yourself. All you can do is pray for everyone else and lead by example.

What a week...

2010-07-07T22:14:00.003-04:00

From MIA tenants, relationships pushed to the edge, rush projects to 12 hour work days, lost dogs and missed appointments. This has been a week. But I know the worst storms produce the best rainbows and the hardest rain produces the best gardens so let it rain, can't wait to see what blooms.

What a day...

2010-07-05T01:17:00.003-04:00

If God tested you the same day the devil tried you it would probably look similar to my day today. But I thank God for blessing me with it. Learned some more lessons, spent time with my son and came home a house full of everything I need. I'm grateful. No matter what, God is good all the time.

The realist ish I ever wrote...

2010-07-02T22:31:00.003-04:00

I've seen many things in my life. Survived even more. I know what it's like to watch your father die, when you are not old enough to understand death. I know what it's like to watch your mother lose herself at that same moment. I know what it's like being forced to deal with the random men that follow that kind of heart break. I know how it feels to be the one that doesn't match, doesn't fit in. I have experienced the ignorance of prejudice remarks from my own family. I know betrayal. I know what it's like to fall in love and have that same person put a gun to your head. I know what it's like to repeat the cycle. I know how it feels to have your heart broken so many times you can't tell if you still have one. I know how it feels to watch a room full of doctors fight to save your child's life. I know what it's like to end your child's life before it ever even began. I know what it's like to watch your oldest and dearest friend lose the battle with an evil disease. I know what "too many funerals" feels like. I know what it's like to love so hard there is nothing left of you. I know regrets. I know mistakes. I know redemption. There are people who know my story and commend me for getting to where I am with all I've been through. But the funny thing is when you look in the mirror you realize perception is not the same as reflection. I'm not there yet. But I will be. I am blessed to say I also know what it feels like to have a roof over your head every night. I know what it feels like to have a full pantry. I know what it's like to hear your children laugh and know they are doing just fine. I know what it's like to have real friends. I know what it's like to walk by faith, fall down and get back up. I know how to pray. I know what it's like to really talk to God...and listen to the response. I know how it feels when a man really loves you. But more importantly, I finally know how it feels to really love yourself. Through it all, that is the best lesson I have ever learned. For that I am grateful and I wouldn't change a thing.

Self censorship.

2010-07-01T21:45:00.003-04:00

I got home today completely exhausted. I attempted to lay down and take a nap (with the tv on) and failed miserably. I stumbled on this show, Bettheny Getting Married? I have never watched it before, but I tuned into the part where she was in a fashion show with other celebrities and talked about the fact she wasn't 22 doing this, she was 39. Wow, that touched something deep down inside. I have a lot of dreams left over from childhood that I think I keep on the back burner because I think I've waited to long. I'm too old. I'm only 32. Why is it that sometimes I feel like I wasted all my "opportunity years." How crazy is that? I've spent the last two years learning to be more positive. Learning to walk by faith. Learning to remove all barriers and live the life I want to live, but secretly I am still doubting myself. What a revelation when all I really wanted was a nap. I needed that. I have had a day dealing with "grown up" issues like mortgages, bills, day job, schedules, etc. I actually let them stress me out? Not even listening to my own advice. So, I took the advice of a very special person, pulled out my journal and let it all out. All of it. For the first time I wrote without any censors. I have had journals my whole life. Most of them torn up or thrown away afraid to go back and read all of the horrible words in those notebooks. But even when I was writing, I didn't let myself write down my real feelings. Not all of them. I used code words as if I were hiding from myself. So tonight was my first night of real journaling. Raw thoughts and emotions. Uncensored. Hiding nothing from myself. Everyday you learn a lesson. Today I am applying it. This journey looks like it will be a good one.

Follow the leader...

2010-06-30T21:14:00.003-04:00

So this journey through round 2 is nothing like I expected. If you asked me six months ago if I had a plan for my life. Most definitely I would have said yes. I was headed down a path that I knew very well. I saw my future. Everything had its place in life. Then along the way, things changed. I found out that people weren't really who I thought they were and my whole world turned upside down. Funny how it works that way, just when you think you have everything all figured out and accept it, God puts you on a completely different path. Now here I am. Staring down this road I never thought I would be on. Scared of the possibilities, but yet excited about them at the same time. What do you do when everything you thought you ever wanted ends up staring you in the face, but you weren't expecting it? Do you let the fear of it not being real keep you from grabbing hold, or do you jump in without testing the water? Who knows. That is what makes life amazing. You never know what to expect. But I am learning that if you just live in each moment and make the most of it, what lies ahead never really matters. What lies behind you doesn't matter either. The only thing you can't take back in life is the time you gave to something or someone. So here is to this moment. Me and my computer, doing what I love, reflecting on love and hoping that through it all, I am also spreading love and living in gratitude. God is good all the time.

Inspiration

2010-06-29T18:29:00.002-04:00

I have kind of been in a funk this past week or so. I couldn't seem to shake it. I lost my motivation. Didn't feel the drive I normally feel. I felt tired, run down, sad at times. It seemed life was throwing me curve balls two at a time...and then BAM! As I was driving home today, it hit me. Inspiration hit me so hard I had to pull over and pull the notebook out of my purse. (Yes, I now carry one at all times, the result of my recent trip- still need to write about that I know.) In a matter of minutes, I had filled several pages. It flowed from my soul. The release felt better than therapy, massages and chocolate all wrapped up in one. Then it hit me. I have not been writing. I let life get in the way again and stopped doing what I love the most. I can't remember the last time I did a photo shoot for myself. I haven't written consistently on my blogs for weeks. But, one line, in one song, slapped me into gear. Thank God for music. Hearing someone else pour their soul into their craft reminded me of this journey I'm on and forced me to pull out of the rest stop. The fire inside is lit again...and for that I am forever grateful. Inspiration- you never know what you might spark inside someone else simply by doing what you love. So get on the road and get out there. Live, Love, Life.

Shorter Chapters

2010-06-14T22:17:00.002-04:00

Just got back from vacation. It was a great vacation. Started out with a flight that changed my views on love and life. I had several awakenings within. Met some great new people, spent time with one of my oldest and dearest friends. I will share those stories later. But for now, I realized that when you actively seek growth in your life, the chapters become shorter. You move on to the next wonderful thing sooner cause you learn to find the lesson the first time it is revealed. That is a beautiful thing. Right now, I am completely exhausted and sleep is calling my name. Just wanted to share that tidbit of wisdom I gained. Sweet dreams...

Just when you think Life can't be more amazing...

2010-06-01T23:00:00.002-04:00

It is. Funny how you can get a wake up call in the middle of chaos. I had an epiphany today. In the middle of what seemed like the longest work day ever...it hit me. When my brain didn't have time to think. Something came out through my spirit. Wheels are turning. I'm on a mission. God is good all the time. Stay tuned...this is just the beginning.

Torn

2010-05-26T22:56:00.002-04:00

What do you do when your heart and mind don't agree? Who is the mediator? What do you do when you want to help but know you shouldn't? What do you do when you want to walk away but can't? What do you do when you are torn? One word. Pray.

The meaning of it all..

2010-05-19T21:19:00.002-04:00

So over the past few weeks, I have started to notice the impact I am beginning to have on others in my life. I am beginning to see the meaning of it all. I am beginning to see why God put me through the things I endured and how I can use those lessons to help others who are dealing with similar situations or similar issues. Helping someone else is the best feeling in the world and makes any amount of pain I have ever experienced completely worth it. You have one life. Learn the lessons. Live the life. Spread luv along the way. God is good all the time.

Healing

2010-05-17T21:35:00.003-04:00

I look around at the people in my life and see them where I used to be. I wish I could pull them along, but I can't. I'm on my own journey and they have their own lessons to learn. It gets really hard sometimes as I secretly want to save the world. I want to heal everyone and eliminate all of the self destruction that is the real cause of all the issues. But I can't. That is not my job. I cannot heal the world, but I can heal myself and along the way, spread love. As I do this, maybe those I spread love to will do the same for someone else. Imagine if everyone only helped one other person, what would the world really look like? So simple, yet so impossible. I will hold on to my dreams of healing the world and do my part spreading all the love I can each day. Hopefully, people will catch on and we will all break the chains. Spread a little love today. It could make all the difference.

All I can do...

2010-05-16T11:26:00.002-04:00

...is pray for you. There are some people in our lives we love so much we would do just about anything to help them, fix them, give them happiness, make them whole. To the point where we start to harm ourselves and block our own happiness. There comes a time when you have done everything you can, and all that is left for you to do is pray. We forget the power of prayer. We try to take on the world and everyone's problems and issues. I'm at the point where all I can do is wish you health, happiness and keep you in my prayers. Praying is the most powerful thing I can do, I promise I will continue to pray for you. But you also have to pray for yourself. God is good all the time.

In this moment...

2010-05-15T20:23:00.002-04:00

The past month and a half of my life has been like a roller coaster ride. The kind that scares you but leaves you full of smiles and laughter. Not the kind that scares you and leaves you horribly sick. I've had enough of those rides. Before I boarded this ride, I made up my mind that it would be one that I would enjoy. I had just got off the longest, most painful ride to date and wasn't quite sure how to get the deathly sick feeling it left behind out of my system. Then I realized, it was easy. All I had to do was choose the type of ride I wanted to be on. The best ride of all is the one you experience in the moment. Let go and let it take you where ever the path leads. Happiness is a choice. If you are on the wrong ride, simply get off and choose another. (Oh, by the way, leave the aggravating, misery loves company, passengers on the one you got off. Don't accidentally take them with you on your new ride or it will still end up making you sick.) Finally learned what it really means when someone says "I'm doing me." Feels so good.

Unbreakable

2010-05-13T20:44:00.002-04:00

So I thought I was back when I posted my last post, but I still had some things to go through or should I say let go of before I could move on to this new journey. The 3 things I have learned over the past year:

1- Happiness is a choice

2- First and foremost, I must be so in love with me

3- I can go through anything as long as my faith is unbreakable

Onto the next chapter...can't wait for the lessons this year will bring. Big things are in store for sure. My faith is unbreakable. Bring on the adventure!

Twenty-two!

2010-01-07T08:59:00.001-05:00

I'm back from hiatus - permanently this time. New Year, New Beginnings. I got to work this morning and the first quote I saw was:

"It's never too late to become the person you might have been." - George Elliot

What a great quote. Life is short, but amazing if you make it that way. This is the year that will change everything. I have a lot of plans and continue to be grateful for the abundance of blessings I already have. To all my peeps- it’s our time- let’s get it.

Happy Birthday to me. I love you. :)

On the horizon...

2009-11-17T11:34:00.002-05:00

I know, I know I have been sporadic at best with my posts lately. But that will soon change. Big things on the horizon. Walking by faith and not by sight....stay tuned.

Conqueror

2009-10-06T10:32:00.003-04:00

They say the enemy goes at you full force when you are on the right path to victory. Life has been better than good lately, then the pavement beneath me fell apart. Typically, this would be the part of the story where I would get stressed, cause more negative things to happen and end up being mad at the world. But instead, I realized that was exactly what the enemy was hoping for so I laughed in his measly face. I'm untouchable. I wear an armour called FAITH. Nothing can take me off path this time around and I make sure every morning when I wake up that I give thanks for that blessing.

L.I.F.E

2009-09-30T12:24:00.002-04:00

I know my posts lately have been sporadic at best. L.I.F.E has recently done a few somersaults and back- hand- springs . The result is a full fledged period of growth. My purpose is revealing itself to me and it's slowing beginning to make perfect sense. That is usually how it goes, huh? Been staring me in the face all along. It took one very special person, one very emotional/painful/self - evaluating/honest night to turn everything around for me. Sometimes you have to get shook up to let loose of those things that bind you. Well, I had my martini moment and came out the other end in a much better place.

Instincts

2009-09-08T21:04:00.001-04:00

Sometimes we ignore those slight warning signs. Little feelings that are trying to tip us off. Keep us from going down that path. Our own wants keep us moving forward not realizing that our wants may be completely opposite from what we really need. Just when you think everything has finally fallen in place and you can woosah...you get an unsuspecting blow that knocks you off your feet. Oh well, time to get back up again.

Beyond Rollercoasters...

2009-08-24T10:17:00.004-04:00

You often hear the saying: Life is like a rollercoaster... Well I have realized life is an experience that goes way beyond rollercoasters. Maybe life is more like a tornado. Sometimes things come and seem to destroy everything. Othertimes you seem the storm coming and it jumps right over you leaving everything in tact. Maybe, there are times in life when we are supposed to get rid of everything to make room for the abundance of blessings coming our way. Othertimes, we are supposed to be still and pay attention. Who knows. What I do know is that today is full of sunshine and I will make the most of the beautiful weather and the blessings this day holds.

Days go by...

2009-08-06T22:36:00.001-04:00

Days go by so quickly. Soon the days turn into weeks, the weeks into months and the months into years. You stand there looking back wondering what you have done with all of the time. Why you are only in the place you are and not where you thought you would be. There comes a time when you realize that life has a time limit. It doesn’t last forever. You begin to judge your choices, become aware of your regrets. You begin to look at your future in a different light. Your experiences turn into lessons. You begin to cherish the moments, the hours. The time spent with your loved ones. The time you wish you would have spent with them when they are gone. You look for the meaning, the purpose in it all. You try to figure out why nothing has gone as planned. You become stronger, smarter. You make better plans, while still living for each day. You don’t want to waste anymore time, you have wasted enough as it is. Some people get caught up in the regrets, the mistakes. Others learn from them and move on. In the end there are only two categories: those who look back at a life of regrets and beg for more time and those who look back on a life fulfilled. Which will you be?

Back on track

2009-07-07T20:49:00.001-04:00

Again...I been MIA for a minute, but I'm back on track. Sometimes you have to fall off the path for a minute to ensure you are on the right track to begin with.

Switch!

2009-06-20T20:46:00.002-04:00

Life is crazy but wonderful. It's amazing how you can wake up one day and everything is different. One little decision can change everything. One conversation. One encounter. You never know what might change your life. God is great. He knows your heart and if you are true to yourself you will get everything you ever dreamed. On to my new journey.

Withdrawal

2009-06-12T19:53:00.004-04:00

I'm going through withdrawal....I keep searching and can't seem to find my fix. I see little lights everywhere, but when is someone going to get to the end of that tunnel? Don't let your mind take you all over the place. I'm talking about music. I need a fix. I need to hear a beat that makes me jump out of my seat and want to grab a mic. I need to hear a verse that makes me want to slap somebody. I need to hear a hook that instantly triggers those butterflies of excitement caused by the pleasure in my ears... something that makes me stop whatever I'm doing and dance or just vibe. I need a fix...but where can I find it?

Instincts

2009-06-11T20:17:00.001-04:00

Pay attention to your instincts. They are powerful and there for a reason.

Cleanse

2009-06-10T20:20:00.001-04:00

Tears cleanse the soul...when they are trying to be released...let them.

Slippin

2009-06-09T20:51:00.003-04:00

The last few days I find myself slippin in areas of my life I never wanted to "slip" in. Time to take a break and evaluate what is really going on with me. I've come to far and am too close to where I want to be to fall back down the mountain.

I'm grown

2009-06-03T20:22:00.004-04:00

I've referred to myself as "being grown" for a long time. I've had "grown up" responsibilities since before I was really "grown." When I turned 30, I felt it truly put a stamp on being "grown." No more excuses for making mistakes that you charge to being "young." Well recently, I have re-evaluated this thought process. I am not grown. "Grown" implies that you have reached a point where you are no longer "growing." I never want to reach that place. I am a responsible adult, but I am still growing and hope to continue to grow as long as God keeps blessing me with days on this earth. I've learned on this journey through round 2 that thought processes change as you gain experiences, all part of growing. Keep growing.

Answered Prayers

2009-06-01T21:09:00.002-04:00

It's crazy how we are so surprised when something we have prayed for is given to us. We question the validity. Why do we do this? Some things may not come right when you want them, but they do come. I find myself in that situation. Things are happening in my life I have been waiting for and now that they are happening here I am questioning them. Crazy how life works that way. Each day things are getting clearer and clearer and the path I need to take is almost in perfect focus. But now things are standing along that path that may take me off course. Life is about choices, right? I guess it's time for me to make some decisions.

Overload

2009-05-31T15:57:00.002-04:00

My brain is on overload. Is it really possible that you can think way too much? I feel like I have thoughts coming at me from every direction, all competing for my undivided attention. Today is definitely a day for yoga and meditation. Time to clear my mind, so I can think clearly.

Turning Point

2009-05-20T11:26:00.002-04:00

The past year of my life has been a turning point. I look back and see the old me standing in the distance. The new me has grown by leaps and bounds. I see the world through a different set of eyes. I spent my whole life not loving myself very well and letting other peoples opinions effect me and mold me. Secretly pretending everything was ok, while inside it was anything but that. I've finally learned how to love myself and put myself first. I have found what happiness feels like. I've learned that happiness is a choice. We choose our own paths, we choose to be positive or negative, we choose the things we let effect our moods. I choose happiness. It is the one good thing that is contagious.

Thoughts

2009-05-14T14:08:00.002-04:00

I'm full of random thoughts today that keep flooding my brain while I am off and on conference calls.

I think 30, doesn't really hit at 30. It takes a couple of years. Over the past few months my views have changed on a lot of things in my life I thought I knew pretty solid. Is anything ever really solid?

Wisdom. The wonderful thing you gain as you get older. If Wisdom had a roommate her name would be insight.

Happiness- is a choice.

Love is not the same as lust or infatuation. Lust and infatuation come and go and can happen instantly. Love takes work and commitment.

Peace- isn't that ultimately what we are all looking for?

Just when I thought I had it all figured out...

2009-05-10T19:46:00.003-04:00

along comes another unexpected twist in my life. It's funny how one unexpected event, encounter or coincidence can make you re-evaluate things that have been constant in your life for years. Comfort zone turned completely on its face. I haven't had many good surprises in my life. It seems that is changing. It feels good to smile everyday, even if it is unexpected.

Life...

2009-05-05T21:26:00.002-04:00

can be gone in the blink of an eye. Cherish every moment, good and bad. Every laugh, every smile, every tear. Never stay mad, it's a waste of your moments. Live a good life and always let those you care about know how much you love them, even when they disappoint you. I have lost a number of people in my life who were very important to me. But I smile in knowing they still live in my heart.

This is getting interesting

2009-04-29T23:09:00.002-04:00

So...things are getting interested. Round 2 may end up much different than I expected. Lately, there have been a bunch of twists and turns in my story that I truly didn't see coming or expect. I feel like I am living in one of those choose your own adventure books I used to love as a child. Here I am at the end of the page do I go route a or route b?????? I guess we will find out. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed adventure :)

And then the sun came out...

2009-04-28T09:20:00.005-04:00

I have been through a lifetime of storms. The storms came so early, that I forgot what the sun looked like. Some storms were lighter than others, some tragic. Each storm left damage behind. Just when I started to rebuild, here comes another, destroying my progress. I finally realized I was using the wrong building materials and trying to reconstruct on a broken foundation. So I asked for new materials (realizing that I couldn't rebuild this on my own) and started building on a new foundation. Then one day, the sun came out. What a beautiful sight. As I sat in silence taking in the magnificence - I realized it was always there - I just couldn't look past the clouds. Now I know when the rain clouds come, they are just seeking the sun as well and blocking my view. Even though I can't see them, the rays are still shining down on me. I smile in that knowledge.

Smile

2009-04-27T21:49:00.002-04:00

Cherish the things in life that make you smile. For a long time, I didn't have many thing (or at least I thought I didn't) to smile about. Lately, I find myself smiling a lot more. Each smile seems to cancel out some other piece of negativity in my life. Each smile makes the bullshit that much less important. Pay attention to the things (or people) who make you smile, they will come in handy on those bad days. We all have bad days. It's much easier to smile through it than to cry through it. Plus, smiling is contagious. :)

Productive release

2009-04-21T19:48:00.001-04:00

Weights are my most productive release. I forgot how great it felt to hit the gym take out all the stresses of the week on the weight machines and end up with a great body. It might feel like the last thing on earth you want to do, but when you are done with your work out you wonder why you haven't been doing it everyday.

What fuels you?

2009-04-17T21:06:00.003-04:00

So my friend Maya told me about The Daily Plate and I am just getting around to checking it out. Partly because the holidays completely through me out of my healthly eating ways and partly because I am going on vacation next month and need to get my body back in shape. This is my second day and I must say I have been made fully aware of how awful we (Americans) eat. Paying attention to the calories, fat, sodium, sugar, etc. in everything you put in your mouth makes you realize how awful some of the things you have been eating actually are. No wonder almost everyone I know feels like shit most of the time. They say you are what you eat.

Have I really figured it out?

2009-04-16T21:43:00.001-04:00

I think I have. My ideal life. I know exactly what it would be. It is filled with my purpose and my gifts. The picture is crystal clear and it is a manifestation of all of the talents God gave me and the experiences He put me through. It's always been there in me. But, I've finally washed away all the bullshit that was hiding it. I claim it. Better keep an eye on me :)

Not worth it.

2009-04-15T23:10:00.002-04:00

So I put my gym membership on hold a few months ago in an attempt to cut my monthly budget down and get a better financial footing. This week I took it off hold. I have had too much stress in my life the last couple weeks and couldn't relax at all. Oh what a good workout can do. And yes, I have been working out at home but DVDs just don't cut it. Letting all the days stresses out on some weights does wonder for your mind and body. Not to mention it's almost swim suit season. Some things just aren't worth the sacrifice.

Relate

2009-04-12T21:33:00.002-04:00

You cannot truly relate to God until you truly have a relationship with God. It's deeper than going to church on Sunday. He should live within you every day of the week, every week of the year.

Open mind

2009-04-10T21:58:00.002-04:00

Sometimes things can come into your life and completely turn the reality you thought you lived in upside down. Today, my view of life, religion, love and relationships completely changed. My mind has been opened to a whole new existence. Funny how life can do that to you in the blink of an eye.

Back on track

2009-04-09T19:47:00.003-04:00

The sun has been peeking through. Time to get back on track. Protein shakes- check. Whole grains- check. Fresh fruit and veggies- check. Nikes- check. Setting aside an hour a day- check. All of this adds up to a bikini body and much needed stress relief.

Escape

2009-04-08T22:24:00.002-04:00

The wonderful thing about being a human is the capacity of our minds. (Even though we only use a fraction of our mental ability.) We create escapes - movies, music, books, tv shows (LOST is my personal fav.) We can go anywhere we want to in our minds. We can create whatever reality we want. But some of us can't seem to think outside of box we have confined ourselves in. If only we could all think outside of that box, imagine what a wonderful world we could live in.

Ashton?

2009-04-07T23:17:00.002-04:00

Lately, everyday of my life has felt like an episode of Punk'd. I've been waiting for Ashton to jump out...but he never does. And he never will. There is something going on though. Something I am being either punished for or prepared for. I'm praying it's preparation for something great. Knowing I have a big God, I guess I already know the answer to that. What don't kill you only makes you stronger..pretty soon I will officially be able to add a "Super" in front of my name. I guess I better have my bff start designing my supersuit...

Brick Wall

2009-04-02T21:21:00.002-04:00

Why does it seem that one piece of bad news seems to attract other pieces of bad news until it's attacking you from all angles and spiraling out of control? Or maybe it's just me. Anyway, I have decided to build a brick wall so that no more bad news can get to me, I have had enough. At least for this month...and it's only the second day. I'm taking the glass half full route...vacation is one day away.

2 days

2009-04-01T22:24:00.001-04:00

2 days until I can get away...Lord let them go by fast.

Vacay

2009-03-30T22:05:00.001-04:00

I have never been so ready for a vacation as I am now. Lucky me, I am taking one next week. Now if I can just make it through the rest of this one...

My Ah-Ha Moment

2009-03-29T22:15:00.003-04:00

As you know if you have been reading this or are close to me in any capacity in my life right now, I have been in serious "it's time to figure things out" mode. Well yesterday I had my ah-ha moment. As I have been reflecting, struggling, debating the last several months trying to figure my life out and decide which direction I am supposed to be heading - it just hit me. But when it hit me I realized it has been there all along - brewing inside - as I walked around it, jumped over it, passed by it all these years. It's always been there. My thoughts and deepest desires have been pushing me to take this path my whole life, but for some reason I have taken every other side street in the world. The older I get I am beginning to think that our "purpose" is with us from the day we are born, but we fail to open our eyes, minds and hearts enough to find it. All the while it's there, waiting.

Surprise!!!

2009-03-28T21:31:00.002-04:00

That's how I feel everyday of my life lately. Life is full of surprises, twists and turns. I've realized God is trying to teach me patience and adaptibility at the exact same time. Just when you think everything has finally settled into a groove and you know where you are heading you happen to get pushed off onto this side road you didn't even know existed. Oh well, here's to the adventure.

M.I.A

2009-03-26T20:29:00.002-04:00

I know I have been missing in action the last week or so...they say when it rains it pours and it seems everything came crashing down at once. But I see the sun trying to poke through the clouds and all of the tension that has taken permanent residence in my body is slowly starting to trickle away. If I can just make it through the next week, then maybe I can relax and get back into a "normal" life routine. Although I have found at this point, my life is anything but normal. Through it all I am still grateful for the blessings I receive everyday. Even when the road is rough I know there is always a blessing waiting at the end.

Sometimes...

2009-03-18T21:54:00.000-04:00

instead of going to God...He comes to you.

Woo-saahhh..

2009-03-17T15:34:00.001-04:00

Today, I am just trying to keep it all together.

The one thing I could not live without...

2009-03-16T11:27:00.003-04:00

Books. I realized this recently with the lack of cable tv in my life. Books are so much better. I have read 3 books in the last 2 weeks. I'm currenlty hooked on this wonderful vampire series. I have no idea where my facination for vamps came from but it has always been there since childhood. I think at this point in my life it's the escape from my "grown up" reality. Drifting off into another world where nothing is what it seems somehow helps me deal with this one a little better.

It's time...

2009-03-13T09:59:00.002-04:00

To step up my game on plotting my ultimate escape. I can see it clearly in my mind. At least, I can see the end result clearly in my mind. It's time to put it on paper and track my progress. When you have to stop and ask yourself frequently- what am I really doing with my life? Then it's time to answer the question.

Patience...

2009-03-12T21:04:00.003-04:00

is something God left out when I was created. I think He is trying to get me to learn to have some. I hate waiting in traffic, but here I am in Atlanta. My new house is pending...waiting for paperwork. I could go on with a whole list of things I am forced to wait on. I'm getting better though. I have learned to completely zone out in traffic. Although sometimes I zone out too much and forget where I am really going (don't tell anyone.) I think the root of my problem is that I have way to much to do (this to do list is what I tend to zone out on in traffic) and not nearly enough time to do it, so waiting for anything makes life that much harder. So maybe I really need to cut down the list of things I have to do....if only I could. Woo...Saahhh.

If only I could still...

2009-03-10T16:21:00.002-04:00

survive on 3-4 hours sleep like I used to in round 1. Definitely can't do that anymore. I don't know how I ever could. Or maybe it's just once I gave my body the chance to see what adequate sleep felt like, it doesn't want to go back. To my dismay, all of the things going on in my life have reverted me back to those 3-4 hours sleep nights. And I feel like sh*t. For a just a few weeks, can I revert back to my old self? The one that can stay up until the sun rises, take a nap (yes a few hours is more like a nap) and start all over again without the blink of an eye? If only...

Today, I smiled.

2009-03-08T21:21:00.003-04:00

Not that I never smile, I do. I smile all the time. But today was different. I've spent the weekend socializing with new and old friends. I also somehow managed to have a few very important conversations with people that mean a whole lot to me. So in the midst of all my socializing, part of my mind was reflecting. (Thank goodness for my excellent multi-tasking skills.) The kind of deep reflection you would think would require yoga or meditation or something along those lines. But I managed to pull it off right there in the middle of everyone, yet no one seemed to know the inner workings I was putting on myself. As I got home this evening and sat down in my own element, I realized in the quietness, I was smiling. I was not stressed out, or worrying or upset or angry or overwhelmed. I was smiling. I am peaceful. It may not be perfect, but I have a good life...finally.

A few things...

2009-03-05T20:55:00.003-05:00

I really need to get a few things off my chest....

- Just because I am a little person, it does not give you the right to take up my space on the plane. You did not pay for one and a half seats. Get away from me.

- If you know you are coughing, sneezing, snorting and whatever else in a confined area with a lot of people, like on a plane, buy a mask. We do not want your germs.

- Obama hasn't even been in office 8 weeks, and people are already trying to tear him apart. Love him or hate him- give him 8 years like you did Bush. It took Bush that long to get us in all this shit. Obama can't get us out overnight.

- Politicians are Politicians no matter who they are. Remember that. This IS America. Land of the free. Appreciate your freedom. In some countries you would be killed for portraying the leader of your nation as an animal getting shot.

- Racism and prejudice are still alive in this country. How easily people seem to forget that this country was built on the blood, sweat and tears of slaves. Minorities fought in every war we have had and been a part of building every industry this country has thrived on. We are all living in a nation that was stolen. White. Black. Latino. Asian- none of us are natives. We all bleed red.

- Black people- we are not slaves anymore. Stop living with a slave mentality. Think outside of the box you have confined yourself to. Dream bigger. God made us an enduring people for a reason. Imagine what we could accomplish if we really used our gifts. They can't kill us, beat us or torture us (legally) anymore- all they can do is hate. Let them hate, we are stronger. They can't stop us and there is nothing they can do about the black man sleeping in the White House tonight.

- Why the f**k is octo-mom on every news channel all day everyday? Her 14 kids will be taking care of by all the money being wasted on the book/media deals pouring in. What about the thousands of kids in this country starving, living on the streets and dying everyday. Why isn't that all over the news? Focus on a real problem.

- The economy is all jacked up. We are all dealing with it. Maybe it's time to focus on what life is really about instead of seeing who can floss the best. Learn the words- emergency fund.

Ok, that is all for now. Thanks for listening.

Live

2009-03-04T21:37:00.002-05:00

We only get one life. With all of the things going on- the economy, stock market, job losses, foolishness- why are so many people not living it? Yes times are not the best, but are you making the best of your time? Find opportunity in the transitions. It's there you just have to get off your ass and look for it. Each moment you waste is gone forever. Make the most of every moment. If you don't- what is really the point of it all?

On a limb...

2009-03-04T01:03:00.003-05:00

I thought after a few days I would miss the 8 inches of hair I rid myself of a week or so ago. No regrets. In fact, I love my new haircut. Proving to myself it was definitely time for change in my life. It's the little things we do to set our lives on a new course. It's the simple pleasures in life we need to hold dear. Change is good. It can be extremely positive. I sometimes wonder how some people spend their whole lives doing the exact same thing everyday. Never taking risks. Never taking chances. What a horrible way to live. It's time for me to step out on a limb.

People are who they are

2009-02-27T17:42:00.002-05:00

That is the simple truth of it all--people are who they are. Sure some people can be influenced by others but at their core, they are who they are. And who they are will eventually come out. Once they show you who they really are, know that you can't change them back to who you thought they were. I watch everyday as people around me put on their "public " face or their "work" face or their "politically correct" face. Some people should try to spend a day without putting on any face at all. But I guess for some that is just too hard to do.

Exhale

2009-02-26T20:12:00.001-05:00

Today I had an exhale moment. In the middle of all the madness I clearly saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The light was all I needed. Exhale.

How quickly things change

2009-02-25T16:02:00.002-05:00

Life has a way of mixing everything up and spitting it back out all unorganized in a blink of the eye. How quickly things change. One moment you are heading down a path and suddenly you are lost or forced to make an unexpected turn. Along the way sometimes you lose people or should I say they follow a different path causing you to lose touch. This may be a good thing...other times it's hard to accept. In the end, if you rely on faith you will know that whereever the path takes you is right where you need to be.

Feel good food

2009-02-24T22:02:00.002-05:00

I know. Food has been a common theme the last few days. It is the one dependable thing in my life. I love food. A great meal can cheer me up during my most unpleasant moods. It is a part of the bond that holds my inner circle together ( you know who you are.) Luckily, I happen to enjoy healthy food. Don't get me wrong I could eat Mexican everyday of my life, but I usually eat rather well. Today I made up for the disaster of a menu I consumed yesterday. Whole grains, fresh veggies and lean proteins all day. Pay off- tonight I feel great. I am not lying in my misery of overeating a bunch of grease that is only good when it goes down like last night. That is the power of tomorrows. One day I will have the time to bake homemade blueberry muffins made from wild blueberries I picked myself. One day. Time to sleep.

un-comfort food

2009-02-23T20:17:00.003-05:00

Long stressful day + working late + Atlanta rush hour traffic = frozen greasy pepperoni pizza dinner for the family (by the way I never eat pork, some things you should leave be as is.) After thought- we should have just had salads. Forgot to mention, pizza followed by mexican 7 layer dip pringles chips (alert: my new addiction.) Why does stress drive people to eat the worst foods? Why is it called comfort food when after you finish you are usually uncomfortable? And why do things all seem to happen at the same time? Wait- isn't it bikini season approaching soon? How many weeks do I have to "get in shape"? Oh well. I guess the only thing to do now is finish the night with some sort of chocolate (the more sensible pleasure is unfortunately not available- it's too bad too at least I could have burned some of the millions of calories I consumed today.)

Simple pleasures

2009-02-22T21:17:00.002-05:00

I've had a long week- which turned into an even longer weekend. I received about 3 hours sleep the last 2 nights. A list of things to do a million miles long with no time to do it can be stressful. I'm glad that in the middle of it all I have learned to push pause and enjoy simple pleasures. A long hot shower and a glass of hot cocoa can feel like heaven when you have been neglecting yourself. Don't forget about the simple pleasures.

Chopped

2009-02-21T19:12:00.002-05:00

Today I cut 8 inches off of my hair. I feel as if I have a new beginning. Sometimes you need to do something to symbolize getting rid of the negative things in your life and letting go of the past. Today I did just that and am looking forward to the growth of my future.

?

2009-02-17T21:35:00.002-05:00

Everyday lately my life had taken a different direction. If things keep up this way I have no idea where I will be by the end of 2009 but I know one thing is for sure- I will be in a great place in my life. I predicted this will be a year of change in my life- I had no idea it would be a roller coaster ride. What does the future hold???? Only God knows.

Love

2009-02-15T20:53:00.002-05:00

Today I heard one of the best sermon's in my life about love. It was so on point. There are so many people walking around with no clue what it really means to love. Love is not dependent upon conditions, gifts or pleasure. Love is enriching, edifying and enduring. To get the true definition, Webster's won't do. Take another look at your Bible. A real look. You will find what love really means in His Word.