People are who they are

That is the simple truth of it all--people are who they are.  Sure some people can be influenced by  others but at their core, they are who they are. And who they are will eventually come out. Once they show you who they really are, know that you can't change them back to who you thought they were. I watch everyday as people around me put on their "public " face or their "work" face or their "politically correct" face. Some people should try to spend a day without putting on any face at all. But I guess for some that is just too hard to do.

Exhale

Today I had an exhale moment. In the middle of all the madness I clearly saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The light was all I needed. Exhale.

How quickly things change

Life has a way of mixing everything up and spitting it back out all unorganized in a blink of the eye. How quickly things change. One moment you are heading down a path and suddenly you are lost or forced to make an unexpected turn. Along the way sometimes you lose people or should I say they follow a different path causing you to lose touch. This may be a good thing...other times it's hard to accept. In the end, if you rely on faith you will know that whereever the path takes you is right where you need to be.

Feel good food

I know. Food has been a common theme the last few days. It is the one dependable thing in my life. I love food. A great meal can cheer me up during my most unpleasant moods. It is a part of the bond that holds my inner circle together ( you know who you are.) Luckily, I happen to enjoy healthy food. Don't get me wrong I could eat Mexican everyday of my life, but I usually eat rather well. Today I made up for the disaster of a menu I consumed yesterday. Whole grains, fresh veggies and lean proteins all day. Pay off- tonight I feel great. I am not lying in my misery of overeating a bunch of grease that is only good when it goes down like last night. That is the power of tomorrows. One day I will have the time to bake homemade blueberry muffins made from wild blueberries I picked myself. One day. Time to sleep.

un-comfort food

Long stressful day + working late + Atlanta rush hour traffic = frozen greasy pepperoni pizza dinner for the family (by the way I never eat pork, some things you should leave be as is.) After thought- we should have just had salads. Forgot to mention, pizza followed by mexican 7 layer dip pringles chips (alert: my new addiction.) Why does stress drive people to eat the worst foods? Why is it called comfort food when after you finish you are usually uncomfortable? And why do things all seem to happen at the same time? Wait- isn't it bikini season approaching soon? How many weeks do I have to "get in shape"? Oh well. I guess the only thing to do now is finish the night with some sort of chocolate (the more sensible pleasure is unfortunately not available- it's too bad too at least I could have burned some of the millions of calories I consumed today.)

Simple pleasures

I've had a long week- which turned into an even longer weekend. I received about 3 hours sleep the last 2 nights. A list of things to do a million miles long with no time to do it can be stressful. I'm glad that in the middle of it all I have learned to push pause and enjoy simple pleasures. A long hot shower and a glass of hot cocoa can feel like heaven when you have been neglecting yourself. Don't forget about the simple pleasures.

Chopped

Today I cut 8 inches off of my hair. I feel as if I have a new beginning. Sometimes you need to do something to symbolize getting rid of the negative things in your life and letting go of the past. Today I did just that and am looking forward to the growth of my future.

?

Everyday lately my life had taken a different direction. If things keep up this way I have no idea where I will be by the end of 2009 but I know one thing is for sure- I will be in a great place in my life. I predicted this will be a year of change in my life- I had no idea it would be a roller coaster ride. What does the future hold???? Only God knows.

Love

Today I heard one of the best sermon's in my life about love. It was so on point. There are so many people walking around with no clue what it really means to love. Love is not dependent upon conditions, gifts or pleasure. Love is enriching, edifying and enduring. To get the true definition, Webster's won't do. Take another look at your Bible. A real look. You will find what love really means in His Word.

Conqueror

Today I am a conqueror. I have managed to avoid allowing my pre-migraine turn into a full blown migraine. The enemy is defeated. Now on to my next battle...

Restless

Preparing to move- again. I've moved 5 times in the last 5 years. Moving sucks. Packing and unpacking- not my idea of fun. You would think I am a restless soul with all this moving. But not so much. Life sometimes has a way of moving you around even if the move isn't a long distance one. I must say each time I find myself eliminating more junk I've been holding onto so I guess I should look at it as my "annual get rid of the stuff I don't need event." This move is different from the rest. Well maybe similar to the first move. This is a new beginning move. Starting my life anew once again. With all of the growth I've experienced in the last 5 years, maybe this symbolizes me coming into my own. Who knows my next move might not be for 5 years. I will just have to see where the universe takes me.

Who knew?

Who knew that in the midst of what seems to be everything falling apart in the world, I would find happiness within myself? Funny how life works. Let go and let God deal with it.

Look Deep

So I started this blog as a chronicle of my journey through my 30s. My journey into being a real "grown up." My journey of truly getting to know myself. But it seems this year is shaping up to be much more of a journey than I expected. As I peel back my layers, visiting places long left untouched and abandoned and get to know the person inside, I find myself getting closer to God. It's a powerful thing to discovery that if you look deep enough inside yourself you find God has been waiting there (and been with you) all along.  I'm still pulling back layers and really enjoying getting to know me, the good and the bad. I look forward to the breakthroughs I know will take place this year.

Roots

Knowing where you come from is important. I spent most of my life wishing I knew my roots. My father died when I was young and I did not really know his family. Being a mixed child growing up in a family where no one looked like me, I felt the need to identify even more. I felt like I didn't belong, an outsider in my own inner circle. I used to pray for a chance to talk to my father one more time and ask him everything I wanted to know about the family I actually looked like. Every few months as an adult I research my family- using the little I do know - hoping to find bits and pieces of the puzzle. Last night for the first time, I actually found something. I found my family listed on the 1930 census. My father was 3 years old at the time. I learned my father lived in Bryan, Ga as a child. My grandfather was a farmer and 15 years older than my grandmother (who I am named after.) Everyone in the family could both read and write. Which I consider a big deal in the 1930s in the south. Education has always been important to me, I guess it always has been in my family. I also learned that my grandfather died when my father was 6. So we share that experience. This may seem like little things but it means the world to me. It's not a lot but it is a small start in understanding my roots. It's the beginning of the story I am piecing together to share with my children so they can share their roots with their children. Who knows maybe one day I will write the whole story.

Standing in Faith

Sometimes it amazes me how God works. The more you stop stressing and stand in faith, the more your problems disappear.