On the horizon...

I know, I know I have been sporadic at best with my posts lately. But that will soon change. Big things on the horizon. Walking by faith and not by sight....stay tuned.

Conqueror

They say the enemy goes at you full force when you are on the right path to victory. Life has been better than good lately, then the pavement beneath me fell apart. Typically, this would be the part of the story where I would get stressed, cause more negative things to happen and end up being mad at the world. But instead, I realized that was exactly what the enemy was hoping for so I laughed in his measly face. I'm untouchable. I wear an armour called FAITH. Nothing can take me off path this time around and I make sure every morning when I wake up that I give thanks for that blessing.

L.I.F.E

I know my posts lately have been sporadic at best. L.I.F.E has recently done a few somersaults and back- hand- springs . The result is a full fledged period of growth. My purpose is revealing itself to me and it's slowing beginning to make perfect sense. That is usually how it goes, huh? Been staring me in the face all along. It took one very special person, one very emotional/painful/self - evaluating/honest night to turn everything around for me. Sometimes you have to get shook up to let loose of those things that bind you. Well, I had my martini moment and came out the other end in a much better place.

Instincts

Sometimes we ignore those slight warning signs. Little feelings that are trying to tip us off. Keep us from going down that path. Our own wants keep us moving forward not realizing that our wants may be completely opposite from what we really need. Just when you think everything has finally fallen in place and you can woosah...you get an unsuspecting blow that knocks you off your feet. Oh well, time to get back up again.

Beyond Rollercoasters...

You often hear the saying: Life is like a rollercoaster... Well I have realized life is an experience that goes way beyond rollercoasters. Maybe life is more like a tornado. Sometimes things come and seem to destroy everything. Othertimes you seem the storm coming and it jumps right over you leaving everything in tact. Maybe, there are times in life when we are supposed to get rid of everything to make room for the abundance of blessings coming our way. Othertimes, we are supposed to be still and pay attention. Who knows. What I do know is that today is full of sunshine and I will make the most of the beautiful weather and the blessings this day holds.

Days go by...

Days go by so quickly. Soon the days turn into weeks, the weeks into months and the months into years. You stand there looking back wondering what you have done with all of the time. Why you are only in the place you are and not where you thought you would be. There comes a time when you realize that life has a time limit. It doesn’t last forever. You begin to judge your choices, become aware of your regrets. You begin to look at your future in a different light. Your experiences turn into lessons. You begin to cherish the moments, the hours. The time spent with your loved ones. The time you wish you would have spent with them when they are gone. You look for the meaning, the purpose in it all. You try to figure out why nothing has gone as planned. You become stronger, smarter. You make better plans, while still living for each day. You don’t want to waste anymore time, you have wasted enough as it is. Some people get caught up in the regrets, the mistakes. Others learn from them and move on. In the end there are only two categories: those who look back at a life of regrets and beg for more time and those who look back on a life fulfilled. Which will you be?

Back on track

Again...I been MIA for a minute, but I'm back on track. Sometimes you have to fall off the path for a minute to ensure you are on the right track to begin with.

Switch!

Life is crazy but wonderful. It's amazing how you can wake up one day and everything is different. One little decision can change everything. One conversation. One encounter. You never know what might change your life. God is great. He knows your heart and if you are true to yourself you will get everything you ever dreamed. On to my new journey.

Withdrawal

I'm going through withdrawal....I keep searching and can't seem to find my fix. I see little lights everywhere, but when is someone going to get to the end of that tunnel? Don't let your mind take you all over the place. I'm talking about music. I need a fix. I need to hear a beat that makes me jump out of my seat and want to grab a mic. I need to hear a verse that makes me want to slap somebody. I need to hear a hook that instantly triggers those butterflies of excitement caused by the pleasure in my ears... something that makes me stop whatever I'm doing and dance or just vibe. I need a fix...but where can I find it?

Instincts

Pay attention to your instincts. They are powerful and there for a reason.

Cleanse

Tears cleanse the soul...when they are trying to be released...let them. 

Slippin

The last few days I find myself slippin in areas of my life I never wanted to "slip" in. Time to take a break and evaluate what is really going on with me. I've come to far and am too close to where I want to be to fall back down the mountain.

I'm grown

I've referred to myself as "being grown" for a long time. I've had "grown up" responsibilities since before I was really "grown." When I turned 30, I felt it truly put a stamp on being "grown." No more excuses for making mistakes that you charge to being "young." Well recently, I have re-evaluated this thought process. I am not grown. "Grown" implies that you have reached a point where you are no longer "growing." I never want to reach that place. I am a responsible adult, but I am still growing and hope to continue to grow as long as God keeps blessing me with days on this earth. I've learned on this journey through round 2 that thought processes change as you gain experiences, all part of growing. Keep growing.

Answered Prayers

It's crazy how we are so surprised when something we have prayed for is given to us. We question the validity. Why do we do this? Some things may not come right when you want them, but they do come. I find myself in that situation. Things are happening in my life I have been waiting for and now that they are happening here I am questioning them. Crazy how life works that way. Each day things are getting clearer and clearer and the path I need to take is almost in perfect focus. But now things are standing along that path that may take me off course. Life is about choices, right? I guess it's time for me to make some decisions.

Overload

My brain is on overload. Is it really possible that you can think way too much? I feel like I have thoughts coming at me from every direction, all competing for my undivided attention. Today is definitely a day for yoga and meditation. Time to clear my mind, so I can think clearly.

Turning Point

The past year of my life has been a turning point. I look back and see the old me standing in the distance. The new me has grown by leaps and bounds. I see the world through a different set of eyes. I spent my whole life not loving myself very well and letting other peoples opinions effect me and mold me. Secretly pretending everything was ok, while inside it was anything but that. I've finally learned how to love myself and put myself first. I have found what happiness feels like. I've learned that happiness is a choice. We choose our own paths, we choose to be positive or negative, we choose the things we let effect our moods. I choose happiness. It is the one good thing that is contagious. 

Thoughts

I'm full of random thoughts today that keep flooding my brain while I am off and on conference calls.

I think 30, doesn't really hit at 30. It takes a couple of years. Over the past few months my views have changed on a lot of things in my life I thought I knew pretty solid. Is anything ever really solid?

Wisdom. The wonderful thing you gain as you get older. If Wisdom had a roommate her name would be insight.

Happiness- is a choice.

Love is not the same as lust or infatuation. Lust and infatuation come and go and can happen instantly. Love takes work and commitment.

Peace- isn't that ultimately what we are all looking for?

Just when I thought I had it all figured out...

along comes another unexpected twist in my life. It's funny how one unexpected event, encounter or coincidence can make you re-evaluate things that have been constant in your life for years. Comfort zone turned completely on its face. I haven't had many good surprises in my life. It seems that is changing. It feels good to smile everyday, even if it is unexpected.

Life...

can be gone in the blink of an eye.  Cherish every moment, good and bad. Every laugh, every smile, every tear. Never stay mad, it's a waste of your moments. Live a good life and always let those you care about know how much you love them, even when they disappoint you. I have lost a number of people in my life who were very important to me. But I smile in knowing they still live in my heart. 

This is getting interesting

So...things are getting interested. Round 2 may end up much different than I expected. Lately, there have been a bunch of twists and turns in my story that I truly didn't see coming or expect. I feel like I am living in one of those choose your own adventure books I used to love as a child. Here I am at the end of the page do I go route a or route b?????? I guess we will find out. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed adventure :)

And then the sun came out...

I have been through a lifetime of storms. The storms came so early, that I forgot what the sun looked like. Some storms were lighter than others, some tragic. Each storm left damage behind. Just when I started to rebuild, here comes another, destroying my progress. I finally realized I was using the wrong building materials and trying to reconstruct on a broken foundation. So I asked for new materials (realizing that I couldn't rebuild this on my own) and started building on a new foundation. Then one day, the sun came out. What a beautiful sight. As I sat in silence taking in the magnificence - I realized it was always there - I just couldn't look past the clouds. Now I know when the rain clouds come, they are just seeking the sun as well and blocking my view. Even though I can't see them, the rays are still shining down on me. I smile in that knowledge.

Smile

Cherish the things in life that make you smile. For a long time, I didn't have many thing (or at least I thought I didn't) to smile about. Lately, I find myself smiling a lot more. Each smile seems to cancel out some other piece of negativity in my life. Each smile makes the bullshit that much less important. Pay attention to the things (or people) who make you smile, they will come in handy on those bad days. We all have bad days. It's much easier to smile through it than to cry through it. Plus, smiling is contagious. :)

Productive release

Weights are my most productive release. I forgot how great it felt to hit the gym take out all the stresses of the week on the weight machines and end up with a great body. It might feel like the last thing on earth you want to do, but when you are done with your work out you wonder why you haven't been doing it everyday.

What fuels you?

So my friend Maya told me about The Daily Plate and I am just getting around to checking it out. Partly because the holidays completely through me out of my healthly eating ways and partly because I am going on vacation next month and need to get my body back in shape. This is my second day and I must say I have been made fully aware of how awful we (Americans) eat. Paying attention to the calories, fat, sodium, sugar, etc. in everything you put in your mouth makes you realize how awful some of the things you have been eating actually are. No wonder almost everyone I know feels like shit most of the time. They say you are what you eat.

Have I really figured it out?

I think I have. My ideal life. I know exactly what it would be. It is filled with my purpose and my gifts. The picture is crystal clear and it is a manifestation of all of the talents God gave me and the experiences He put me through. It's always been there in me. But, I've finally washed away all the bullshit that was hiding it. I claim it. Better keep an eye on me :)

Not worth it.

So I put my gym membership on hold a few months ago in an attempt to cut my monthly budget down and get a better financial footing. This week I took it off hold. I have had too much stress in my life the last couple weeks and couldn't relax at all. Oh what a good workout can do. And yes, I have been working out at home but DVDs just don't cut it. Letting all the days stresses out on some weights does wonder for your mind and body. Not to mention it's almost swim suit season. Some things just aren't worth the sacrifice.

Relate

You cannot truly relate to God until you truly have a relationship with God.  It's deeper than going to church on Sunday.  He should live within you every day of the week, every week of the year.

Open mind

Sometimes things can come into your life and completely turn the reality you thought you lived in upside down. Today, my view of life, religion, love and relationships completely changed. My mind has been opened to a whole new existence. Funny how life can do that to you in the blink of an eye.

Back on track

The sun has been peeking through. Time to get back on track. Protein shakes- check. Whole grains- check. Fresh fruit and veggies- check. Nikes- check. Setting aside an hour a day- check. All of this adds up to a bikini body and much needed stress relief. 

Escape

The wonderful thing about being a human is the capacity of our minds. (Even though we only use a fraction of our mental ability.) We create escapes - movies, music, books, tv shows (LOST is my personal fav.) We can go anywhere we want to in our minds. We can create whatever reality we want. But some of us can't seem to think outside of box we have confined ourselves in. If only we could all think outside of that box, imagine what a wonderful world we could live in.

Ashton?

Lately, everyday of my life has felt like an episode of Punk'd. I've been waiting for Ashton to jump out...but he never does. And he never will.  There is something going on though. Something I am being either punished for or prepared for. I'm praying it's preparation for something great. Knowing I have a big God, I guess I already know the answer to that. What don't kill you only makes you stronger..pretty soon I will officially be able to add a "Super" in front of my name.  I guess I better have my bff start designing my supersuit...

Brick Wall

Why does it seem that one piece of bad news seems to attract other pieces of bad news until it's attacking you from all angles and spiraling out of control? Or maybe it's just me. Anyway, I have decided to build a brick wall so that no more bad news can get to me, I have had enough. At least for this month...and it's only the second day. I'm taking the glass half full route...vacation is one day away.

2 days

2 days until I can get away...Lord let them go by fast.

Vacay

I have never been so ready for a vacation as I am now. Lucky me, I am taking one next week. Now if I can just make it through the rest of this one...

My Ah-Ha Moment

As you know if you have been reading this or are close to me in any capacity in my life right now, I have been in serious "it's time to figure things out" mode. Well yesterday I had my ah-ha moment. As I have been reflecting, struggling, debating the last several months trying to figure my life out and decide which direction I am supposed to be heading - it just hit me. But when it hit me I realized it has been there all along - brewing inside - as I walked around it, jumped over it, passed by it all these years. It's always been there. My thoughts and deepest desires have been pushing me to take this path my whole life, but for some reason I have taken every other side street in the world. The older I get I am beginning to think that our "purpose" is with us from the day we are born, but we fail to open our eyes, minds and hearts enough to find it. All the while it's there, waiting.

Surprise!!!

That's how I feel everyday of my life lately. Life is full of surprises, twists and turns. I've realized God is trying to teach me patience and adaptibility at the exact same time. Just when you think everything has finally settled into a groove and you know where you are heading you happen to get pushed off onto this side road you didn't even know existed. Oh well, here's to the adventure.

M.I.A

I know I have been missing in action the last week or so...they say when it rains it pours and it seems everything came crashing down at once. But I see the sun trying to poke through the clouds and all of the tension that has taken permanent residence in my body is slowly starting to trickle away.  If I can just make it through the next week, then maybe I can relax and get back into a "normal" life routine. Although I have found at this point, my life is anything but normal. Through it all I am still grateful for the blessings I receive everyday.  Even when the road is rough I know there is always a blessing waiting at the end.

Sometimes...

instead of going to God...He comes to you.

Woo-saahhh..

Today, I am just trying to keep it all together.

The one thing I could not live without...

Books. I realized this recently with the lack of cable tv in my life. Books are so much better. I have read 3 books in the last 2 weeks. I'm currenlty hooked on this wonderful vampire series. I have no idea where my facination for vamps came from but it has always been there since childhood. I think at this point in my life it's the escape from my "grown up" reality. Drifting off into another world where nothing is what it seems somehow helps me deal with this one a little better.

It's time...

To step up my game on plotting my ultimate escape. I can see it clearly in my mind. At least, I can see the end result clearly in my mind. It's time to put it on paper and track my progress. When you have to stop and ask yourself frequently- what am I really doing with my life? Then it's time to answer the question.

Patience...

is something God left out when I was created. I think He is trying to get me to learn to have some.   I hate waiting in traffic, but here I am in Atlanta.  My new house is pending...waiting for paperwork. I could go on with a whole list of things I am forced to wait on. I'm getting better though. I have learned to completely zone out in traffic. Although sometimes I zone out too much and forget where I am really going (don't tell anyone.) I think the root of my problem is that I have way to much to do (this to do list is what I tend to zone out on in traffic) and not nearly enough time to do it, so waiting for anything makes life that much harder. So maybe I really need to cut down the list of things I have to do....if only I could. Woo...Saahhh. 

If only I could still...

survive on 3-4 hours sleep like I used to in round 1. Definitely can't do that anymore. I don't know how I ever could. Or maybe it's just once I gave my body the chance to see what adequate sleep felt like, it doesn't want to go back. To my dismay, all of the things going on in my life have reverted me back to those 3-4 hours sleep nights. And I feel like sh*t. For a just a few weeks, can I revert back to my old self? The one that can stay up until the sun rises, take a nap (yes a few hours is more like a nap) and start all over again without the blink of an eye? If only...

Today, I smiled.

Not that I never smile, I do. I smile all the time. But today was different. I've spent the weekend socializing with new and old friends. I also somehow managed to have a few very important conversations with people that mean a whole lot to me. So in the midst of all my socializing, part of my mind was reflecting. (Thank goodness for my excellent multi-tasking skills.) The kind of deep reflection you would think would require yoga or meditation or something along those lines. But I managed to pull it off right there in the middle of everyone, yet no one seemed to know the inner workings I was putting on myself.  As I got home this evening and sat down in my own element, I realized in the quietness, I was smiling. I was not stressed out, or worrying or upset or angry or overwhelmed. I was smiling.  I am peaceful. It may not be perfect, but I have a good life...finally.

A few things...

I really need to get a few things off my chest....

- Just because I am a little person, it does not give you the right to take up my space on the plane. You did not pay for one and a half seats. Get away from me.

- If you know you are coughing, sneezing, snorting and whatever else in a confined area with a lot of people, like on a plane, buy a mask. We do not want your germs.

- Obama hasn't even been in office 8 weeks, and people are already trying to tear him apart. Love him or hate him-  give him 8 years like you did Bush. It took Bush that long to get us in all this shit. Obama can't get us out overnight. 

- Politicians are Politicians no matter who they are. Remember that. This IS America. Land of the free. Appreciate your freedom. In some countries you would be killed for portraying the leader of your nation as an animal getting shot. 

- Racism and prejudice are still alive in this country. How easily people seem to forget that this country was built on the blood, sweat and tears of slaves. Minorities fought in every war we have had and been a part of building every industry this country has thrived on.  We are all living in a nation that was stolen. White. Black. Latino. Asian- none of us are natives. We all bleed red.

- Black people- we are not slaves anymore. Stop living with a slave mentality. Think outside of the box you have confined yourself to. Dream bigger. God made us an enduring people for a reason. Imagine what we could accomplish if we really used our gifts. They can't kill us, beat us or torture us (legally) anymore- all they can do is hate. Let them hate, we are stronger. They can't stop us and there is nothing they can do about the black man sleeping in the White House tonight.

- Why the f**k is octo-mom on every news channel all day everyday? Her 14 kids will be taking care of by all the money being wasted on the book/media deals pouring in. What about the thousands of kids in this country starving, living on the streets and dying everyday. Why isn't that all over the news? Focus on a real problem.

- The economy is all jacked up. We are all dealing with it. Maybe it's time to focus on what life is really about instead of seeing who can floss the best. Learn the words- emergency fund.

Ok, that is all for now. Thanks for listening.

Live

We only get one life. With all of the things going on- the economy, stock market, job losses, foolishness- why are so many people not living it? Yes times are not the best, but are you making the best of your time? Find opportunity in the transitions. It's there you just have to get off your ass and look for it. Each moment you waste is gone forever. Make the most of every moment. If you don't- what is really the point of it all?

On a limb...

I thought after a few days I would miss the 8 inches of hair I rid myself of a week or so ago. No regrets. In fact, I love my new haircut. Proving to myself it was definitely time for change in my life. It's the little things we do to set our lives on a new course. It's the simple pleasures in life we need to hold dear. Change is good. It can be extremely positive. I sometimes wonder how some people spend their whole lives doing the exact same thing everyday. Never taking risks. Never taking chances. What a horrible way to live. It's time for me to step out on a limb.

People are who they are

That is the simple truth of it all--people are who they are.  Sure some people can be influenced by  others but at their core, they are who they are. And who they are will eventually come out. Once they show you who they really are, know that you can't change them back to who you thought they were. I watch everyday as people around me put on their "public " face or their "work" face or their "politically correct" face. Some people should try to spend a day without putting on any face at all. But I guess for some that is just too hard to do.

Exhale

Today I had an exhale moment. In the middle of all the madness I clearly saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The light was all I needed. Exhale.

How quickly things change

Life has a way of mixing everything up and spitting it back out all unorganized in a blink of the eye. How quickly things change. One moment you are heading down a path and suddenly you are lost or forced to make an unexpected turn. Along the way sometimes you lose people or should I say they follow a different path causing you to lose touch. This may be a good thing...other times it's hard to accept. In the end, if you rely on faith you will know that whereever the path takes you is right where you need to be.

Feel good food

I know. Food has been a common theme the last few days. It is the one dependable thing in my life. I love food. A great meal can cheer me up during my most unpleasant moods. It is a part of the bond that holds my inner circle together ( you know who you are.) Luckily, I happen to enjoy healthy food. Don't get me wrong I could eat Mexican everyday of my life, but I usually eat rather well. Today I made up for the disaster of a menu I consumed yesterday. Whole grains, fresh veggies and lean proteins all day. Pay off- tonight I feel great. I am not lying in my misery of overeating a bunch of grease that is only good when it goes down like last night. That is the power of tomorrows. One day I will have the time to bake homemade blueberry muffins made from wild blueberries I picked myself. One day. Time to sleep.

un-comfort food

Long stressful day + working late + Atlanta rush hour traffic = frozen greasy pepperoni pizza dinner for the family (by the way I never eat pork, some things you should leave be as is.) After thought- we should have just had salads. Forgot to mention, pizza followed by mexican 7 layer dip pringles chips (alert: my new addiction.) Why does stress drive people to eat the worst foods? Why is it called comfort food when after you finish you are usually uncomfortable? And why do things all seem to happen at the same time? Wait- isn't it bikini season approaching soon? How many weeks do I have to "get in shape"? Oh well. I guess the only thing to do now is finish the night with some sort of chocolate (the more sensible pleasure is unfortunately not available- it's too bad too at least I could have burned some of the millions of calories I consumed today.)

Simple pleasures

I've had a long week- which turned into an even longer weekend. I received about 3 hours sleep the last 2 nights. A list of things to do a million miles long with no time to do it can be stressful. I'm glad that in the middle of it all I have learned to push pause and enjoy simple pleasures. A long hot shower and a glass of hot cocoa can feel like heaven when you have been neglecting yourself. Don't forget about the simple pleasures.

Chopped

Today I cut 8 inches off of my hair. I feel as if I have a new beginning. Sometimes you need to do something to symbolize getting rid of the negative things in your life and letting go of the past. Today I did just that and am looking forward to the growth of my future.

?

Everyday lately my life had taken a different direction. If things keep up this way I have no idea where I will be by the end of 2009 but I know one thing is for sure- I will be in a great place in my life. I predicted this will be a year of change in my life- I had no idea it would be a roller coaster ride. What does the future hold???? Only God knows.

Love

Today I heard one of the best sermon's in my life about love. It was so on point. There are so many people walking around with no clue what it really means to love. Love is not dependent upon conditions, gifts or pleasure. Love is enriching, edifying and enduring. To get the true definition, Webster's won't do. Take another look at your Bible. A real look. You will find what love really means in His Word.

Conqueror

Today I am a conqueror. I have managed to avoid allowing my pre-migraine turn into a full blown migraine. The enemy is defeated. Now on to my next battle...

Restless

Preparing to move- again. I've moved 5 times in the last 5 years. Moving sucks. Packing and unpacking- not my idea of fun. You would think I am a restless soul with all this moving. But not so much. Life sometimes has a way of moving you around even if the move isn't a long distance one. I must say each time I find myself eliminating more junk I've been holding onto so I guess I should look at it as my "annual get rid of the stuff I don't need event." This move is different from the rest. Well maybe similar to the first move. This is a new beginning move. Starting my life anew once again. With all of the growth I've experienced in the last 5 years, maybe this symbolizes me coming into my own. Who knows my next move might not be for 5 years. I will just have to see where the universe takes me.

Who knew?

Who knew that in the midst of what seems to be everything falling apart in the world, I would find happiness within myself? Funny how life works. Let go and let God deal with it.

Look Deep

So I started this blog as a chronicle of my journey through my 30s. My journey into being a real "grown up." My journey of truly getting to know myself. But it seems this year is shaping up to be much more of a journey than I expected. As I peel back my layers, visiting places long left untouched and abandoned and get to know the person inside, I find myself getting closer to God. It's a powerful thing to discovery that if you look deep enough inside yourself you find God has been waiting there (and been with you) all along.  I'm still pulling back layers and really enjoying getting to know me, the good and the bad. I look forward to the breakthroughs I know will take place this year.

Roots

Knowing where you come from is important. I spent most of my life wishing I knew my roots. My father died when I was young and I did not really know his family. Being a mixed child growing up in a family where no one looked like me, I felt the need to identify even more. I felt like I didn't belong, an outsider in my own inner circle. I used to pray for a chance to talk to my father one more time and ask him everything I wanted to know about the family I actually looked like. Every few months as an adult I research my family- using the little I do know - hoping to find bits and pieces of the puzzle. Last night for the first time, I actually found something. I found my family listed on the 1930 census. My father was 3 years old at the time. I learned my father lived in Bryan, Ga as a child. My grandfather was a farmer and 15 years older than my grandmother (who I am named after.) Everyone in the family could both read and write. Which I consider a big deal in the 1930s in the south. Education has always been important to me, I guess it always has been in my family. I also learned that my grandfather died when my father was 6. So we share that experience. This may seem like little things but it means the world to me. It's not a lot but it is a small start in understanding my roots. It's the beginning of the story I am piecing together to share with my children so they can share their roots with their children. Who knows maybe one day I will write the whole story.

Standing in Faith

Sometimes it amazes me how God works. The more you stop stressing and stand in faith, the more your problems disappear. 

Such is Life

Hormones. Those little devils that seem to make womens' lives hell sometimes. Not to mention the fact that a large sum of the female population pumps their bodies with extra hormones on a daily/weekly/monthly basis to take control of their lives and "plan" their entrance to mommyhood. And men wonder why women can be so emotional at times. At least we have a legitimate reason. There is nothing we can do about it. We were born that way. So why is it some men seem to suffer the same symptoms? What is their excuse? Is there some estrogen virus floating in the air? Just one of the things I ponder at times.

Who ever invented Mondays?

Mondays. If you work a 5 day work week (or are supposed to but always seem to be working all hours of every day) then Mondays might not be your favorite day all the time. Today was such a Monday. At least it's over.....well almost. Tuesday will be a great day. 

love

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, alway hopes, always perseveres.

What the world really needs right now is more love. Practice love today. You will see the difference it makes in your life.

Year of Defining Decisions

So my life has been all over the place the last couple of weeks. I guess 2009 is going to be the "Year of Defining Decisions." And boy do I have some serious decisions to make. I've never been at such a crossroad before. I've had to make a lot of tough decisions in my life, don't get me wrong, but never have I stared down the multiple roads I could take the moment I hit the crossroad. I'm usually making the decisions on how to deal with the consequences of the path I had already taken without even considering the alternatives.  Instead of freaking out and worrying about what I am going to do, I am going to accept this blessing. I'm blessed to realize that I'm at a point in my life where I can do anything I want to do and it's all up to me. I'm blessed that I know things sometimes have to get worse before they get better and you have to look past the current situation to what is waiting for you on the other side. I'm blessed to have the wisdom I've gained from all of the other decisions I have made in my life good or bad. And I'm blessed to know that no matter what path I take, God will be there walking with me. 

My President is Black...

Today is a day that will be remembered and reflected upon throughout history. We are all witness to the day when the world moved in a new direction. Watching the first black (yes he is mixed like me but in the eyes of society, black and proud to be) President address the nation brought chills to my bones. I could feel the pain, struggle and sacrifice of the many people who gave their lives fighting, praying and hoping to one day witness such a remarkable event. To think that President Obama is sleeping tonight in the most famous home ever built by slaves. I have hope for the future. I am prepared to do MY part in the change taking place. Yes WE can. It's time to step up, take responsibility and do YOUR part. We are all in this together.

He is listening

I've been praying a lot lately seeking guidance in a few areas in my life. Today that guidance ended up in my junk email folder. I never check it. I usually just empty it and keep it moving, but something today told me to look at those emails. And there sitting waiting for me was an answer.  Technology is not always certain (hence the non junk email ending up in my junk email folder) but one thing is certain- He is listening is always listening. It is up to you to listen back and pay attention when He answers. 

Rebuild

Sometimes you have to wipe the slate completely clean and start over. No sense in trying to remodel what was built on a broken foundation. You will waste your time and efforts. Sometimes you have to start again with a new solid foundation and slowly build it the right way. 

Chill with the Zebras

It's a fact stress makes people sick. Stress makes lives difficult and people miserable. Why do we as Americans keep building a culture that increases the stress in all of our lives? Our bodies react to stress to avoid danger. The only time other living things are stressed is when they are running for their lives so they don't get eaten by some lion chasing them. Once the lion is gone, they go back to chill mode. Why is it we can't? We sit and think about the lion chasing us even after the lion is long gone or worry about the next lion that just might happen to appear. We lay in bed thinking about lions instead of sleeping. We go about our lives finding ways to breed more and more lions and wonder why we can't get rid of them. Well I am making sure that my life has a lion-free zone that I visit on a daily basis and chill with the zebras. 

Ok Now I'm Ready

So it's the 12 day of January and I am not fully into the 2009 routine I had planned. My birthday being a week after New Year's kinda makes the first week and a half of each year pretty busy, out of routine and full of celebrations. Now back to everyday life and implementing the resolutions I have for this year. Time to get back on the grind and wipe out any laziness that I may feel from doing too much these last 2 weeks. Sunday was my day of rest. Today- as hard as it was to get out of bed this morning- is my day to step it up a notch.

Thank Goodness for Real Friends

As my birthday week wraps up I am really looking forward to the rest - a sign of age I guess.  This week has been full of ups, downs and unexpected in every area of my life. The one thing I was definitely reminded of this week is how blessed I am to have real friends. I thank God for my friend and love them all new and old. I don't know what I would do without them. On another note, I realize this will be a roller coaster ride of a year. But I look forward too it and know that I will come out on top at the end.

21....again

The 7th day of the year is the best day of the year.  You would think being born on the 7th day of the year would bring me a lot of luck. It hasn't, but I have gained a lot of wisdom and I would choose wisdom over luck any day. Since this is the first day of the next year of my life I've decided to have a birthday resolution as well. This one is simple. Do things that increase the joy and happiness in my life. That is what 21 the second time around is all about. Funny thing is when I was 21 the first time I was so excited to get carded because I was finally legal. Now, it's fun to get carded cause I still look like I could be underage- that itself is a blessing. 

The Unexpected

Life sure has a way of throwing you curve balls. Just when you think you have everything all figured out...BAM! It hits you. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. I've been hit with both at once. At least I'm balanced I guess. Looking at things through half full lenses this year. I must say with all these challenges I will never be bored. But I'm up for it. Game on. I have some major decisions to make. However, in round 2, these decisions won't be taken lightly.

Monday Blues.

The first Monday of the new year. I had to drag myself into work this morning from lack of sleep last night. Not a good start to the week right. I know. I almost got depressed about the pending birthday coming up in 2 days, but then I realized it's just 21 the second time around. New beginnings. Slowly throughout the morning I have been getting back on track and my excitement about the new year is building. The temptation to slack is there, but I refuse. This year will be a big deal in many lives. I'm making sure mine is one of them.

New Beginnings

New Year. Fresh Start. Isn't life beautiful.  

2009 is going to be known in history as the Year of Change.  This is the year my resolutions will stick. I'm going to hang them on the wall next to my bed so they are in my mind every morning when I wake and every night before I go to sleep.

Resolutions for-

My mind: Incorporate meditation and yoga into my daily routine

My body: Exercise a minimum of 4 times a week, eat clean as much as I can and drink lots of water EVERY DAY.

My soul: Pray everyday, study the bible, consistently make it to Church for fellowship. Spend more time with the friends that nurture my soul.

My family: Spend more quality time with my children with the TV and computer OFF.

My future: Work on becoming debt free, build up that emergency fund, invest smart, grow my business...and finally finish my book.

Now 6 more days until my birthday. 21 the second time around is sure to be interesting. :)